Safety Rules for Singles Dating WebsitesSingles dating sites can be a great way to meet new people but it does come with some danger if you are not careful about the way you go about meeting your matches.

 

Unfortunately, not everyone who is on singles dating sites is simply looking for a partner.  Some are actually predators that tell you what you want to hear, claim to have the same thoughts and value systems just so that they can exploit you and others.

 

This is why it is important to know what you should and should not do on an singles dating site and how to protect yourself.  The following are four safety guidelines when using an online dating website:

  1. Use a Separate Email – You can have as many email accounts as you want and that you can keep up with. It is always suggested that you use a separate email for the purpose of online dating so you do not have to fear someone cyber stalking you.  There are ways that hackers can get into your email account and find information about you such as your address.  When you set up this new email account, do not fill in any of those fields such as phone number and address so even if your email is hacked, they are not getting any sensitive personal information.  Never give out any other email address to a person who you have met online that you do not yet trust or who you have not met.
  2. Never Divulge Financial Information – Most of those who are attempting to exploit another person are doing it for financial gain.  They are looking for what they deem to be a lonely person who they can charm and woo and who will eventually open their wallets and bank accounts.  These people seem genuine but all they are is scam artists.  They put on a fake face to you in order to gain your trust and once they have it, they start telling you all their sob stories to get you to offer them money.  Most of the time you are not even asked for anything, but because you are a good person you offer it.  To keep this from being an issue, never divulge your financial information to someone until you are absolutely sure they are genuine.
  3. Never Give out Your Home Address or Telephone Number – You should never list your home address or telephone number on an online dating website.  This allows those who are looking to commit crimes on your home or you easy access.  They can go to your house when they know you are at work and rob you or they can come by your house when you are home and hurt you.  Keep things general when they ask where you live.  You can tell them you live in the Southwest part of the city or in a certain district.  This way if someone is genuine, you still know if you live in the same area without revealing your exact location.  It is possible to stay safe and still offer some bits of information about yourself if you simply are a vague and not specific about your location.
  4. Always Meet in Public – This is probably one of the most important of all the safety guidelines because of the nature of singles dating.  Eventually you will want to meet your match so you can see if there are sparks in person as well as online and on the phone.  It is absolutely a bad idea to have them meet you at your house.  This goes along with not giving out your address to anyone online.  Choose a spot that is close to both your locations and have dinner or coffee when you meet.  You can go out to clubs and do others things as well but keep it all on the surface and never take someone home who you have just met.  This cannot be stressed enough, there is the thought that “I’ve talked to them for so long that I feel I know them, they cannot be bad”.  These same people are the ones who are on the news because they were robbed or worse.

It is very important to protect yourself no matter what your dating situation is.  Even if you meet a person at a bar, the above guidelines are accurate and should be followed.  Keep in mind, these are not just for women, men are preyed upon just as much if not more than the ladies.  This is because ladies tend to expect to be exploited much more than men do.

 

After all, she has a pretty face and is gorgeous and fun to be with, certainly she’s not out to get me.  But be wary, she is and will get you if you leave yourself open to her by not protecting your home, your money and your heart.

Men are seen to be much tougher than women so they are not at risk but they are if not more so because of this.  A woman can leech a man’s bank account just as easily, if not more so, than a man can leech a woman’s.  There are few men who can stand to see a woman cry and if he cares about her, he will do what he can to help her.  This is why both men and women should protect themselves at all times when using an singles dating site to find love.


Attractive mother and son.

It is so difficult for single mothers to have the time to get out and meet someone who they can spend their life with.  Many men are not looking for a readymade family and this can cause some heartache for the single mothers who like them.  There are also scary true life stories of men who take over the father role in the household and then are abusive to the children.  This usually happens when the mothers allow the men into their lives without really getting to know them.  One of the issues this article will discuss in length is when it is appropriate to introduce the children to a new man.  With all these issues, it is a wonder any single mothers have the opportunity to find true love and to have a complete family.

Single Mothers Dating Tips

The following is a list of singles dating tips for single mothers that will make this time easier:

  • Finding a Qualified Babysitter
  • Feeling Guilty about Dating
  • Should You Tell Your Children’s Father you are Dating?
  • When to Introduce Your Children to Your New Man
  • Should He Move In and When?
  • When it Does Not Work Out

Finding a Qualified Babysitter

Once you have made the choice to start dating again, you really want to make sure your children are taken care of when you are out on dates.  If your children’s father is in their lives he may already have the children for visitation so you can have your date nights when they are with their father.  If not, then ask a family member or a trusted friend that your children already know and are comfortable with.  This gives you the assurance that the children are alright and you can relax and enjoy your evening out.  Make sure that you do keep your phone on during your date in case there are any issues with the children that you need to be aware of.  You can always ask your sitter to send a text message occasionally to let you know how the kids are doing to keep you updated.

Feeling Guilty

It is perfectly normal for you to experience feelings of guilt when you first start getting back into the dating scene.  You may feel like you are a bad mother for leaving your children or that you should not be out having fun while they are with someone else.  Everyone deserves some time for themselves including single mothers so learn to allow you to have that without feeling guilty.  You will find that it does get easier with time and that you are a much happier person and a better mother when get the opportunities to dress up and let yourself go once in a while.  At the end of the day it does your children good to interact with others besides you and if you trust your babysitter you know the kids are perfectly fine while you are out.

Should You Tell Your Children’s Father you are Dating?

A big issue for many single mothers is how their ex’s feel about them seeing another man.  This can be a touchy subject without a cut and dry answer.  Telling him about your dating depends on how your relationship is at the moment.  Does he still care about you?  Does he want to get back together with you or has he moved on?  If he still has feelings for you then you should not tell him you are dating until you are in a relationship that you know will be a lasting one.  If he is seeing other ladies and has no romantic interest in you anymore then certainly you can tell him your intentions.  He may even be willing to spend more time with the children in order to allow you some extra nights out.  This would be the ideal situation but as stated, this is truly a judgment call on your part.

When to Introduce Your Children to Your New Man

This is another huge issue for single mothers who want to get back into the dating scene, when your new man should meet your children.  You should never allow a man who you have only dated a couple of times to meet your children.  There should be a relationship established over a long period of time and one that you know is going somewhere that would constitute a commitment from both of you.  Causal dates should never be brought to your home unless the children are not going to be there.  The two main reasons for this are one, the man may be a predator who is looking for single mothers with children to exploit and two, your children may become attached and when the relationship ends, they are hurt.

Should He Move In and When?

If you have been with a man for a long period of time and if you love each other and have decided that you want to be in a long term relationship you may be thinking about living together.  Before you move him in, this is the time to introduce him to the children if you have not already.  Watch how he interacts with the children and how they respond to him.  If all seems well then it is perfectly normal to have him move in and to share your lives together.  Many may feel that marriage should come before this point but that is up to you and your own moral code.  Surely if you marry a man he would be living with you and children.

When it Does Not Work Out

So you met a great man and you fell in love, spent a good amount of time dating and he has met the children.  Then, for whatever reason, the relationship ends and you are left single again and you have the added burden of telling your children.  This can be a difficult time but if you are supportive and understanding of your children’s need to mourn the loss of your relationship, it can actually help you through the grieving process as well.  Allow your children to speak about the good times and let them know that they were not at fault in the break up.  Many times children feel that they did something wrong and that is why the father figure they loved went away.

Conclusion

It is never easy being a single parent and dating may seem light years away to you now but there may come a time when you want to put yourself out there again.  If you take these tips and use them when you decide to join a few singles dating sites and start gradually dating again then you can be assured of a smoother experience.  While this won’t help you to not get hurt, it can help your children from becoming attached to a person who is not staying in their life long term.  Your children are the most important part of the equation so you need to make sure that their safety comes first by having a good babysitter and by not introducing the children to your dates too soon.  And please remember that you are entitled to some happiness and joy in your single life and you do deserve to have some time that is devoted to just pleasing you, but do keep the password to the dating website safe, and your computer locked up 🙂